How Positive Leadership inspires deep listening

Welcome to the November edition of Positive Leadership and You. This month we consider the art of listening.

Me: Focusing on our personal growth, wellbeing and being positive.

The writer Leo Tolstoy said, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” This is a quote that I return to often. To inspire change, you have to be willing to model new habits, behaviors and values.

It starts with listening to ourselves on a deeper level.

As a medical doctor and leadership coach, Dr Nadia Medjad has a unique understanding of this. She says that psychological needs are as powerful as physical needs. Ignoring your emotions is like covering up the fuel gauge on the dashboard of your car.

To be happier and healthier, you need to know when you are running out of energy and to be able to respond effectively. How can you do this? Nadia recommends:

If you find yourself spinning out of control, take a piece of paper, make two columns and list: What is under my control? What is out of my control?

Gratitude journaling – writing down 3 examples of what you are grateful for every day - is another way of listening to what makes us truly happy. Research shows that over time this practice can improve your health, memory, and creativity. Why not give it a try?

Me & Others: Connecting with and empowering others to achieve more.

This quote by the business thinker and bestselling author, Stephen M. R. Covey vey, describes one of the most important qualities leaders can develop: the ability to really listen to others.

Positive leaders talk less and listen more. Stop thinking about the next thing you’ll say, and you will truly really hear the other speaker.

In his book, ‘The Advice Trap’, 📚Michael Bungay Stanier (MBS for short), one of the world’s top executive coaches, talks about taming your ‘advice monster’. He means: stop rushing to give advice.

MBS recommends replacing this habit with a new set of habits:

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• “Be curious”, in the sense of listening, as opposed to talking.
• “Be lazy”, in the sense of letting a person find the solution themselves.
• “Be often”, in the way you open that moment for coaching.

Active listening is a skill shared by my most recent podcast guest, Indra Nooyi , former Chairman and CEO of PepsiCo. She talked to me about being on the debate team in high school and how this helped her develop the skill of listening. Because only by listening to an opposing point of view, could she respond effectively. And she carried this ability into her professional life.

Indra has so much insight to share - you can learn more about her leadership mindset here:

Me & the World: Having a positive impact on the world.

To have a positive impact on the world, we must go out and listen to the people who need it most. We must listen to learn.

I think of Jeroo Billimoria , an inspiring serial social entrepreneur, who founded Childline India some years ago. Nobody thought the idea was possible. But after listening to the children on the streets, she wanted to help. They told her what they needed, and she built it from there. As Jeroo says: “God gave you two ears because you have to listen more than you have to speak.”

How often do we rush in with the best intentions, when we could take the time to ask and to listen to the answer?

Professor Barbara Fredrickson, who is one of the leading academics in the field of positive psychology, said to me once: “just being able to offer a listening ear to somebody is really huge”. And sometimes, it’s as simple as that to have a positive impact. It’s certainly a great place for all of us to start.

All the best,

jp